Regardless of the degree of soul wounding the same process must occur in the here and now in order for us to free ourselves from the barriers that prevent us from coming into the fullness of our relationship with God. We must be willing to recognize and acknowledge the connection between the habits and patterns which hinder us today and the wounds that we experienced in childhood as a result of living in a sinful world where it is not possible to have our needs met in perfect ways.
If we are reluctant to face our specific soul wounds and their effects, our reluctance is natural. Many people resist facing certain of God’s realities. We may not want to look directly at our soul wounds or their effects, whether significant or minimal. If we have experienced some form of abuse we may resist because it will be painful. If small, we may say why bother? We may have attempted to deal with some of the effects in the past. Sometimes we have been successful, sometimes not.
Some of us have found a way to live in the world that works for us. In that case, we may well ask why bother to accept that there are soul wounds and effects? Our lives may not be perfect and there may be problems, but overall we somehow manage to get through each day, so why rock the boat?
Exploring the past will disrupt our lives, we argue. So why do such a messy, painful, or unpleasant thing? Because, God intends for us to be whole persons. Whole means containing all its natural components, something which lacks none of its parts. When we deny parts of our past we are in effect denying God, because He is the One who created us. All of us; past, present and future.
He will use “all” things that have happened in our lives to enable us to walk out our inheritance as a child of God. All means the whole quantity of, the whole sum, entirely, completely. If we deny parts of our past, then we deny God the ability to use all parts of self to do His work. We may want God to use us without benefit of our understanding the whole of who we are. But that would be like expecting an engine to run in spite of the fact that various parts of the engine are non-functional.
We have learned that God’s reality is that children are not born equipped with the foreknowledge of what it takes to create a healthy self. They are dependent upon their imperfect caretakers to do this for them. Children come to believe that the way they were raised will somehow give them an accurate understanding of both family and self, as well as equip them to live in the world as adults.
But, if we have lived in families where some degree of soul wounding occurred (and most children do live in this type of family), we probably developed a distorted view of both family and self, as well as how to live in the world.
This distorted view, if accepted as reality, often discounts the reality of soul wounding and its effects. It is a viewpoint that is often supported and strengthened by certain truths. It may be true that our moms took good care of our physical needs. It may be true that our dads worked really hard to support the family. It may be true that our families took fun vacations together. None of these truths change the equally important truth that soul wounds and their effects occur and need to be recognized and acknowledged.
(This an excerpt from our book "Come Into His Fullness ")
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